Sometimes it’s hard to write your speeches

Puttin’ all your faith in just one man
You’ll have bad times
And he’ll have good times,
Doin’ things that you don’t understand.

But if you want him, you’ll forgive him,
Even though his racist heart beats strong 

And if you need him, oh be proud of him,
‘Cause after all he’s just a man.

Stand by your man,
Give him some hope to cling to,
His hate-filled views to spew to

When U.C.P. salutes him… 

Stand by your man

And show the world you love him

No matter ALL the groups he’s panned

Stand by your man

Stand by your man

And show the world you love him

Keep givin’ all support you can 

Stand by your man

When will Mr. Kenney stop defending racist views? 

Calgary Raging Grannies, Summer 2020, tune by Tammy Wynette

Tune: All Things Bright and Beautiful

Video of Grannies and Friends of Grannies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZG7yGVd3mgg  

Thanks to all the great women
Your leadership’s been strong.
We’ll give you a nod Trudeau,
Most things you’ve not done wrong.
But Hinshaw, Freeland, Hadju
And more have shown today,
That all around this country,
The women lead the way!

Thanks to all the great workers
You’re helping us get through.
Every day you risk your lives
We’re so grateful to you!
When all of this is over
There’s some will face a fight.
But we will stand beside you
Because that’s just not right.

Thanks for social distancing
You all can stand up tall.
For Alberta’s government
We have no thanks at all!!!
You’ve wasted public money
On oil not worth a cent,
You’re driving out good doctors,
Who now can’t pay their rent!

We can’t thank the UCP
They’re making life too rough,
Ramming through their rotten bills,
We all have had enough!!

Calgary Raging Grannies, spring 2020

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTWagP3J2Ag

Dashing through the snow,

Alberta’s cash in hand,

O’er the fields he goes

He’s getting out of hand!

Schools are suffering!

Healthcare is not so bright!

Oh how sad it is to sing

About Alberta’s plight!

Where’s the jobs, where’s the jobs?

Kenney, where are they?

What you’ve done is cruel and dumb!

Why can’t you go away? OH

Where’s the jobs, where’s the jobs?

Kenney, where are they?

What you’ve done is cruel and dumb,

So here’s some coal today! (throw coal)

Coal for Kenney!

Tune:  We Shall Not Be Moved

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MywZyOZRsY

We are not, we’re not giving up

We are not EVER giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

Even during Covid, we’re not giving up

Although we’re growing older, we’re not giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

Though we feel like crying, we’re not giving up

We’ll stand up to lying, we’re not giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

We are not, we’re not giving up!

We are not EVER giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

We fight the Almighty Dollar, we’re not giving up

For public good, we’ll holler, we’re not giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

We are not, we’re not giving up

We are not EVER giving up

We know we’re in this struggle for the long haul

We’re not giving up

Original song by Mississippi John Hurt, reworked by The Calgary Raging Grannies spring, 2020

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-dik-X5BAA

Shandro, Kenney, What are we going to do?

You’re not listening to anyone else but you!

It’s rare to see our Mayors

United as team players

We must confess

This dispatch mess

Is not looking good on you.

Shandro, Kenney, Listen to what we say

Else with their lives, people are going to pay!

When 911’s together,

The outcomes are much better

The data shows, the facts we know,

So stop your bullying ways.

Shandro, Kenney, no need to use your phone

The am-bu-lance is fine in its current home (the dashes reflect the rhythm to fit this in perfectly)

Our dispatch is not broken

The savings are just token

So you’ll look sweet the day you tweet

You’re just leaving it alone!

Shandro, Kenney, give us your answer do

We’re still waiting for logic to come from you

This plan’s a bit of a bummer

Kind of like Dumb and Dumber

So Grans suggest, end this distress 

By ditching this plan, and soon!

Calgary Raging Grannies

On the UCP announcement to remove ambulance dispatch from Calgary, Red Deer, Lethbridge and Fort McMurray, over fierce objections of Calgary City Council as well as the other 3 cities, September 2020.

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW9g8jI2XuM

We love democracy,  we need democracy

We will dissent when our morals say

We have our voices  and we will use them

Please don’t take democracy away

And we object to your squelching protest

We love discussion, we love debate

And we will value  different opinions

We abhor a heavy-handed state

In our democracy, it’s OUR democracy

There is no room for Bill One’s flaws

We love our Charter… and Bill One scares us

We abhor this heavy handed law

So in Alberta, we have to fight for

The right to gather and disagree

When those elected… will not protect it…

We will fight for our democracy. 

Written by the Calgary Raging Grannies, revised in July 2020 in response to the UCP passing a vaguely worded bill banning protest in public and private spaces.  It was first written in April 1999 in response to government pronouncements that the Opposition serves no purpose, and teachers may lose their right to strike.  It was first revised in March 2015 for a rally against Bill C-51, Harper’s secret police bill. 

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ3qd-jrM54

This old Gran, she played ONE

Saw her DOC ‘cause her feet went numb

Sorry said the doctor…. I’m afraid we’re done  

MAKE an appointment for the other one!

This old Gran, she played TWO

Saw her DOC when her mammo came through

Sorry said the doctor….Tho the left’s one’s good

MAKE an appointment for the right breast too.

This old Gran, she played THREE

Had bursitis and one bad knee

Sorry said the doctor, but your good knee counts

COME in again, but today you’re bounced.

This old Gran, she played FOUR

Saw her DOC with aches galore

Sorry said the doctor….  10 minutes are done,  

NEXT time pick your favourite one!

I’M that Gran! Complaints are five!

DO not gamble with my life!

[slowly]  The plan, Mr. Kenney, puts Alberta in the red

[slowly]  Since I CAN’T use my DOC……I’ll take a HOSpital bed.

This song was written in response to the recent Alberta government mandate that a doctor may spend only ten minutes with a patient.

Calgary Raging Grannies February 2020

Tune: Bicycle Built for Two

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gE1SHKcbs0A

Jason, Jason  

Give us your answer do!

We’re half crazy,

‘Cos of the things you do.

Our kids and our health must matter

More THAN the oil you flatter

So YOU’LL look sweet, the day you tweet

That you’ll PRIORIZE health care too!

Jason, Jason 

Give us your answer do!

We’re half crazy,

‘Cos of the things you do.

Our kids and our health must matter

More THAN the oil you flatter

So YOU’LL look sweet, the day you tweet

There’s more MONEY for classrooms too!

Jason, Jason 

Give us your answer do!

We’re half crazy,

‘Cos of the things you do.

Environment too must matter

More THAN the oil you flatter

So YOU’LL look sweet, the day you tweet

Of a GREEN future here….YA-HOO!!

Calgary Raging Grannies, Feb. 2020

We’re the women who did the work

So men could get the credit-

We said “leave it all to us”

And wish we’d never said it.

Politics was not for us

We left it to our spouses

But NOW we know that women’s place

II Parliamentary Houses

#2. Tune If You’re Happy and You Know It

If you can’t be bothered voting, think again

If you can’t be bothered voting, think again

(slowly)  Keep in mind that its worth noting

If good folk don’t go voting

(slowly) Some toads we’d all reject will reject will prob’ly win

.

#3. Tune Side by Side

Oh… we’re just a gaggle of –Grannies

Urging you off of your –fannies

We’re telling you straight

It’s really your fate

To change your world

Sooooo… We may be a gaggle of– Grannies

But we’re getting off our—fannies

We’re telling you now

Your Grannies know how

We want YOU to vote!

#4. Tune It’s Raining, It’s Pouring

(slowly) It’s raining, it’s pouring

E-lec-tions are never BOR-ing!

GO to the poll; Put x in the hole,

And FEEL good in the morning!

#5. Tune Ants Go Marching

The Grans go marching two by two

Oh yah! Oh yah!

The Grans go marching two by two

Oh yah! Oh yah!

The Grans go marching two by two

We are GOING to vote, and so should you

Let’s ALL march down to the polls (pause, face the audience)

(Slowly) We NEED to be outta the rain.

(Spoken) Political rain, that is.  Ya’ll go and vote now!

Hang down your head, Jason Kenney

Hang down your head in shame

Divide and conquer serves you

Deception is your game

Hang down your head, Jason Kenney

Hang down your head in shame

Encourage separation

You try to fan the flame

Hang down your head, Jason Kenney

Hang down your head in shame

Fear all around us

You are the one to blame.

Author: The Calgary and Lethbridge Raging Grannies