Geriatric Sexpot

Tune: There'll Always be an England 


Note: This can also be recited as a spoken piece

I’m Sixty and I’m Sexy

At least that’s what I hear

From the programs seen on TV

And the talk shows on the air.

The magazines print articles

By some Authority

All telling me, at sixty,

I’m as Sexy as can be!

I’m Seventy and Sensual

Though it really doesn’t show

Geriatric experts tell me

I’m mature and all aglow.

They say hidden wells of passion

Are just bubbling up in me

And at seventy I’ve hit my peak

Of sensuality!

I’m Eighty and I “Ought to”

There’s no time to put things off

No excuses like, “I’m breathless”

Or “Exertion makes me cough”.

For I’m told I’ve still got fires

That I didn’t know I had

And I would tell my husband but

When I wake him, he gets mad!

Now Im Ninety and I’m Naughty

Ant there’s nothing new to me

I’ve been having sex since sixty

And I’m tired as can be.

But I’m telling you a secret

And it’s one that you must keep

When I get to be One Hundred

I AM DARN WELL GOING TO SLEEP!

Calgary Raging Grannies 1998