Tune: Oh Dear, What can the matter be?
Oh Dear – What can the matter be?
We’ve been attacked by the forces of gravity
Fat has appeared where we once had concavity
Nobody said life was fair.
Older men, they become more adorable
Even though their figure’s deplorable
Their physique is always insurable
With or without their grey hair.
Older women are thought unattractive
They’re shunned as if they were radioactive
They jiggle so when they become active
It’s back to the old rocking chair.
Well, these old grey mares, we ain’t what we used to be
We’ve given up on respectability
Don’t give a fig for acceptability
We’re far too awesome to care!