Three Old Ladies

Tune: Oh Dear, What Can the Matter Be? 


Minister, Minister, what can the matter be
Three old ladies in beds in the lavatory
They’ve been there from Monday to Saturday
No room in long term care.

The first place they offered to old Mrs. Grundy
They serve wine with dinner and lobster on Sundays
But they’ll charge forty dollars to wash out your undies
And twice that to help with your hair.

The next place with spaces was shown Mrs. Maynard.
They offered her fountains and personal trainers
And charged a small fortune in fees and retainers,
But she needed the wrong sort of care.

But you sure can’t complain if you’re Mrs. McGrath.
There’s a view of the foothills and toilet and bath.
It’s central and free if you don’t do the math
And timely for all kinds of care!

Granny Penny, Calgary Raging Grannies, Apr. 2009